This resonated with me. Aside from the vulnerability of her face, and the fact that she resembles me, or how I think I look when I am in a moment of torturous delight, there is the statement.
MAKE IT HURT, PLEASE.
The connection between pain and pleasure is indubitable – to me anyway. I don’t like pain. I’m allergic to it. I’ve been hit. Beaten. It’s not nice. And I am affected and afflicted by it.
I also wonder if I am a masochist. The tightrope between liking pain that others would think it crazy to like, and hating it… is slippery, and blurry, and it burns. It’s unbalancing. The picture wouldn’t be so affective if the script didn’t accompany it. “Please.” After all, our bodies plead for the things it needs, whether we know we want them or not.
***
We remember the extremes dealt to us. We remember the people who affected us. And we remember the pain they deal, like an experienced Vegas corsican who knows he will hurt you a certain amount, before yielding, just slightly to reel you in with a few pleasurable moments that resemble winning.
So we remember the heights of pleasure, and the heights of pain… they shake us to the core. We carry scars to remind us. We carry memories, which, by design, are meant to fade into distant cloudlike masses. Over time, they become unattainable, like when you reach your hand out of your car through the densest of fog. You should be able to touch and feel something that you can’t see through, but you can’t. Your hand flows right through it.
Then, there are memories that remain so sharply focused, that they cannot be called memories because they do not follow the original intended design. “I remember it as if it were yesterday.” There are times when the touch, smell, some tactile distortion are so vivid that we cannot help but think they just happened.
***
BDSM.
Acronyms. I kinda hate them. They diminish words. Take away their significance. They make fun of them, and leave them just a trace, a shadow of their glorious past selves. Acronyms make you have to remember what they stand for, and they make it easy for you to overlook the substance behind the substitutions. Letters for words. When the words are already made of letters. What kind of fucked up shit is that?
B – bondage
D- discipline
or D – domination/submission
S- sadism
M- masochism
I take issue with the way this acronym bunches together concepts that really do not relate. Not really. Each idea can survive without the other, and though often compliment eachother, they may not suppliment the other.
I’ve been a little stressed lately. The mental and physical effects are taking their toll.
Enough.
Let’s cleanse our brains with a picture.
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