.. quite another way to see red balletheels with corset and a petticoat (c) www.light-fetish.de
[Via http://balletheel.wordpress.com]
.. quite another way to see red balletheels with corset and a petticoat (c) www.light-fetish.de
[Via http://balletheel.wordpress.com]
Like to live dangerously? Does the prospect of a little menace spice up a relationship? The femme fatales in this edition of Forbidden Gallery may love you. Then again, they may just stick it too you when you least expect it. When making love to one of these beauties you should always watch your back…
FORBIDDEN GALLERY Anyone can see the gallery; only Flickr members with safe search OFF will see these photos. Join Flickr free.A few photos too sharp for the gallery: bayonet, combat, throwing, stiletto, carving, shiv
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Read all of VISIONS
[Via http://cliffmichaels.wordpress.com]
The other night I tried to live out a fantasy that I‘ve had for little while now. I wanted an Asian massage parlor threesome and hire two girls instead of the usual one. I imagined how great it would be to get showered, massaged and have sex with two hot little Asian girls.
The place I chose is about twenty minutes away. They have a membership card that you get signed every time you visit. After five visits your sixth is free. Now this just covers the initial sixty dollars for the wash and massage but not the sex. I’ve had my free one due for a while but wanted to wait for the right time to go. I knew I would still have to pay an extra sixty for the extra girl and then extra for sex for each girl. The girls are cute Korean girls with decent bodies. Not the best that I’ve had at a massage parlor but worth my time and money.
I arrived around six o’clock and rang the bell and the girl that answered knew me. She brought me to my room and I told her what I wanted. She had trouble understanding my English but eventually got the idea. Her name was Uri. Uri called Anna the other girl to tell her that I requested two girls and they talked back and forth in Korean. I got undressed and ready for the shower bed. Uri took me in the shower room. I asked for Anna to come in and help and she said that I could only get one girl to shower me. She was good by herself but I wanted this to be a threesome all of the way through.
Uri took me back to room and I pulled out two pairs of pantyhose for them to wear for me while they massaged me and of course for the sex. Uri put them on and went a gave Anna her pair. I laid on the bed face down. Anna came in wearing the pantyhose and they both went to work on my body. Uri massaged my upper body while Anna massaged my lower body focusing on my feet and legs, which I love. We were off to a great start.
They started talking to each other in Korean and occasionally laughed. This annoyed me a little because I wanted to relax. I went with it. Halfway through the massage Anna asked if we could “bang bang” first and they will finish the massage later in case other customers come. Apparently they were the only two customers there. I agreed but wasn’t happy.
Uri went to work on my cock while Anna kissed and touched my chest and I touched her ass, legs and feet in the pantyhose. I told Anna to help with my cock. They both stroked it for a while them Uri hopped on top of me first. I ripped her pantyhose at the crotch and we fucked and Anna put her pantyhose ass in my face and I licked it through the nylon.
It was Anna’s turn next. I laid her on the bed with her legs in the air and pulled her pantyhose down just enough to get my cock in her pussy. I told Uri to play with my ass while I fucked Anna. I had to clarify that I wanted her to finger my asshole. She did while I pumped in and out of Anna’s little pussy. I took Anna’s feet and put one in my mouth and held the other one. She has the prettiest tiny feet. I exploded inside of Anna with Uri’s finger in my ass.
They cleaned me up and said they will be right back to finish the massage. I heard the doorbell ring a couple of times. Uri came back alone and massaged me for a little. She told me that it was the busy time and there were only the two girls there. She said that Anna was giving a quick handjob to a guy and would be back soon. That was just what I wanted to imagine. Uri left me there alone of almost ten minutes. I was a little annoyed that this wasn’t going the way I thought it would.
Finally, Anna came back to finish my massage. She took her time and worked on every part of my body. She did a better job than ever. I was finally relaxing. I felt better that she was trying to make it up to me. As she was finishing my massage she asked if I wanted a handjob. She said it would be no extra charge. Of course I let her. She jerked me off and played with my balls. I took a little while to cum but not as long as I expected.
I paid the girls and they both walked me to the door kissing me and apologizing and said next time I should come later at night. I left there not sure if I had a good time or not. It didn’t go the way I expected but I did get two girls to massage me and fuck me at the same time. I did get an extra long massage out f it and an extra handjob. Next time I’ll stick with one girl and the full attention.
[Via http://callmemr.wordpress.com]
Pretty Scary Sounding Title Eh? Yeah, I have a foot fetish, don’t read if you get grossed out easily
Please note that this story comes off as a sex story, but its not meant in that way, I promise!
—
My very first homosexual foot fetish experience was back in ‘07, I had already told a few of my friends that I had a foot fetish (for whatever reason I don’t know). Please note that I was in 6th grade at the time. I had Cubby and Vinni over for a sleepover, and we were in the TV Room, watching TV or something, and Vinni whispered something that was inaudible to me in Cubby’s ear and then they proceeded to both put their feet in my face. I pushed it away saying something like “I don’t like guys feet”, even though I was getting hard. They just laughed. They stopped after a few minutes. That was the first of many times they did that, and I eventually stopped pushing it away, and they found it hilarious. I didn’t really think anything of this, at the time, seeing as it was (at the time) purely fetish pleasure, as in I wasn’t thinking about their dicks or anything. They did this plenty more times in the future, and I eventually grew to like Cubby. Even before this, he was my best friend. Even if he (after awhile) became a pretty shitty friend, he was still my best friend at the time, and I began to really, really like him. A lot.
The next Summer I had my first homosexual wet dream. It consisted of firstly, me sucking Cubby’s dick, and then in turn, he was sucking my dick afterward. It wasn’t very clear, and I mean that in the literal sense, like as if it was blurry in the dream. I remember waking up with two thoughts, 1. Disgust, and 2. Who was sucking whose dick, Me or Cubby? This dream disgusted me quite a bit actulley, infact it began how I started questioning my sexual identity, I questioned it twice. The first time was this time, and this time I went on a now defunct forum called WTalk.org that I used primarily for Warez and the community. I went on this site in the “Serious Discussion” forum and posted a thread with a title of something like “Am I bisexual?” The obvious response eventually was “Yes” but I didn’t take it seriously.
My liking for Cubby steadily increased over time, I wasn’t aware of it until around October-ish of ‘08. I realized it around that time too. Before, I wasn’t consciously aware that I liked him. I do remember getting the urge to kiss him, and found that extremely strange at the time, I didn’t act on that. After realizing I liked him, I freaked out. By “freak out” I mean that I decided to stop being friends with him, completely. About two weeks later I chose to be friends with him again. He said alright and to just forget about it. We were never as good friends again, and eventually that “friendship” died, and I’m glad it did. He was one of the worst friends I’ve ever had, if not the worst. The reason why I say that is because 99% of time when we’d joke around or something the joke would always be on me, as in he made fun of me a shitload more than anyone else does. When I would do it in turn he would get very pissed. I stuck with him for a longtime though, a lot longer than I should have.
[Via http://biramblings.wordpress.com]
I was thinking about this the other day, wondering whether it is common for women (or even the flow-loving guys) to buy feminine hygiene products in bulk. In the typical North American society, we’re used to buying almost everything in bulk, our fruits, vegetables, meats, clothing, etc. to take advantage of lower per-unit prices, such as Costco, Sam’s Club and tons of smaller-name retail-warehouses, but what of these products? I used to be a big fan of buying Always at Costco because they used to offer packs of 96’s for $13.. but that was before they reduced the package size and raised the price. Unlike Asia regions, housing here has an abundance of space, so it isn’t necessary for pads/tampons to come in small packs as we have plenty of space to store them. With that said, there are definitely savings when it comes to buying in bulk.
For instance, let’s take a look at the above figure. The above price is fixed as I purposely chose a “Buy it now” item only, so no bidding is required. A normal pack of 24’s is approx $4 so in this box of 96-count, it is technically 4 packages. Multiplying a $4 per pack cost x4 = $16. So to compare buying bulk, I am saving nearly half of the regular cost! To buy in bulk would come down to 9.63 cents per pad versus buying regularly at 16.66 cents per pad! I have a feeling Maysea is going to mock us because buying them in the Philippines is only 7.5 cents per pad not even in-bulk! I have seen even better deals than this, but they have been long-gone, probably for good reason as it never hurts to stock up. I know for most regular/heavy flowing girls, going through 96 pads is easy and it doesn’t even register on your mind.
Following through with another (I don’t pick Stayfree for a particular reason other than it was one of the good deals that showed up on my search), this set comes with a total of 132 pads for 17.99. Unlike the previous deal, it is not as good, but is still better than not buying in bulk with a price tag of 13.62 cents per pad.
For some reason, the bigger discounts seem to happen for tampons. This one comes down to only 6.93 cents per tampon! Of course these boxes look like they were one of those “samples” boxes, but it doesn’t matter, a tampon’s a tampon…. once you use it, you throw it away anyways! These boxes look like the ones I can get from my work, lol… if I ever have a daughter, I’m sure I wouldn’t have to spend too much buying her feminine hygiene, haha. My ex used to buy the Always with me from Costco, but the only problem (or well, if you see it as a problem) was, she’d get several jumbo packs that she’d just use the same type of pad for any day. Rather than using the “right” protection to match her flow, she’d just use the same one for any flow which meant she would instead, adjust her pad-changing-cycle to her flow. Because she used Always Regular Maxis (Yellow), on heavy days, she’d be in and out of the washroom more than anything. My ex and I were not at that stage yet where we’d sleep at each others houses but she has told me that she actually gets up in the middle of her night twice when she’s on her period to change her pad. To me, that’s inefficient use of products since she’s not using a heavy or overnight pad to allow her to sleep through the night. I’m not sure whether I’d be all too happy with her waking up in the middle of the night for a week every month, haha.
The cost of pads and tampons over time for menstruating women is quite large. I suppose that’s exactly why there’s been women who have taken up alternative products, mainly reusable ones such as silicon/plastic cups, sea sponges, cloth pads, blood towels (got this from one of the other bloggers I read), etc. so the recurring monthly cost is not there. Although the initial “impact” of a $60 item is great, that’s only about half a year worth of disposable pads/tampons. If you’re going to have to buy pads/tampons anyways, mind as well get them in bulk to take advantage of better pricing. Of course, just like anything else, it’ll take a bit of time to “scope out” the variety of quantities/prices before knowing what is considered a good deal. However, saving 20-cents per se on every pad/tampon amounts to big savings over a course of 40 years!
Although using disposal products as a whole is already “not very green”, but a lot of the bulk products come in boxes and not in their regular retail package, which helps on reducing the amount of waste. In the “old days” a lot of the hygiene products were not wrapped and would come out of a box/bag as-is and manufacturers were more environmentally-friendly then. Nowadays, almost all pads and tampons are wrapped in paper or plastic and even some pantiliners are individually-wrapped! For a while, Always were giving away “pantiliner pouches” along with their boxes so that it encouraged people to buy boxed, non-individually-wrapped pantiliners and slide them into the pouch. Even some of the old Always Classics I have are not individually wrapped and are already in a complete “pad form” once you take them out of the bag. Heck, they are not even folded! For the purpose of carrying, it is nice to have individual-wrappings but for at home, manufacturers should consider releasing “portable” and “non-portable” versions of their products. Many girls generally have a slot in their bag/purse or even carry a discrete case with them where they bury their products anyways, so they could probably live without it being individually wrapped. O.B. is one of the more environmentally-conscience tampons since they come without an applicator (why would you need one anyways? Seriously that afraid to touch down there?) which makes them extremely hard to “crush” or “break” while being jostled around inside a bag/purse. Tampons themselves are very hard so ones without an applicator are actually more “safe” and “discrete” to carry around. On the other hand, with some well-thought placement of pads in a bag, it is also possible to prevent it from being all mushed up when you go to take it out.
I know this strayed away from the original topic a bit, but there wasn’t a lot I could say… just thought I’d bring it to point of whether people do or don’t purchase in bulk, even when it’s only a matter of time before you need to use tampons/pads and that they generally don’t have “an expiry date” on them. For those who already use reusable products, kudos! For those who still use disposables, definitely hunt for some bulk sales at nearby stores or online!
[Via http://meninmenstruation.wordpress.com]
Ladyboy Mint is one of the most popular ladyboys of Asi. She is a real Thai Kathoey. Her slender feminine body, big tits and her 9′ cock are amazing. Did I mentionher pretty face?
Check out her web site:
http://www.longmint.com
[Via http://callmemr.wordpress.com]
Many people don’t get why i like Hooters so much. They don’t get why I like the girls so much. They think the outfits are ugly and so 80’s and the food is horrible. The answer is simple. Although I do like the food there, it’s the Hooters girls’ pantyhose that i like. I love the way their legs look in the special made for Hooters pantyhose. I’ve never been much of a breast man. I love breasts but I don’t care about size. Small or flat chested women are as sexy as big ones. I absolutely love legs and pantyhose. i also love a nice ass. When I go to Hooters The girls usually have great legs covered in those sexy pantyhose and their asses covered in those tight orange shorts with their cheeks peeking out. It drives me crazy. I go there once a week to see these girls while enjoying my meal. I go home and jerk off thinking about the one that served me and her legs and ass covered in pantyhose. I wish I had the nerve one day to offer one of the Hooters girls to sell me her worn pantyhose. I would treasure them for years.
Here are some pics to enjoy if you like Hooters girls like I do.
[Via http://callmemr.wordpress.com]
Tanya was never a good cook. When she was younger, she loved being in the kitchen and would cook each and every time she had a chance. As she grew older, she never cared for it. College and nightlife took over and there was simply not enough time to spend in a kitchen, slaving over food. But when her new boyfriend, Kyle, came over for dinner one night, Tanya had to impress him. Little did she know he was going to be the one impressing her instead. Who knew peanut butter was an aphrodisiac?
Tanya’s one bedroom was spacious in almost every way: high vaulted ceilings, a private balcony and spacious storage. Of course, there was a one small area: the kitchen. It didn’t seem like a problem to Tanya at first until she actually tried to cook in it for the first time. Then she realized her kitchen was too good to be true. The kitchen had plenty of cabinet space to make up for the ridiculously small refrigerator opening. She was lucky enough that one of her old friends was housecleaning and gave away his fridge to her. But the small kitchen also solved the problem for when she wanted to cook. Not enough space, she rationalized. Lean cuisines and to-go orders were her lifeline.
And then she met Kyle.
“The one thing a girl can do to impress me the most is to make me a home-cooked meal,” Kyle once revealed to Tanya during one of their dates. Several days later, she found herself in the middle of the kitchen making a mess and hoping it would at least turn out decent. If not, there was always pizza. Tanya was getting the appetizers out of the oven when she heard a knock on the door. Kyle showed up a bit early. Looking down at herself and seeing the flour bath she just had, Tanya shook her head and went for the door. At least she didn’t smell funky.
“Cooking hard?”
“Hardly cooking,” she greeted.
Kyle entered the apartment and was greeted by scented vanilla candles and relaxing ambience facilitated by the local jazz station on the radio. A very romantic night indeed. “Good thing I brought this,” he presented Tanya a bottle of Pinot Grigio, “I figure it goes nice with the environment you have here.”
Tanya warmly smiled. Kyle always knew how to make her happy without even trying. “Thank you,” she softly kissed him. Kyle wrapped his arms around Tanya’s back and pulled her close to him. He continued the lip play by gently sucking on her bottom lip. Kyle moved to lightly licking Tanya’s lips with his tongue.
“Kyle,” Tanya giggled, “we’re not going to make dinner at this point.”
“Fine by me,” he whispered.
“No,” Tanya pulled herself away from him, “dinner first.” She walked to the kitchen and began preparing the spaghetti meal. Kyle soon followed her in the kitchen and began to look through the various cupboards, much to Tanya’s distraction. “Looking for something?”
Kyle found what he was looking for and slyly smiled. “Yes, actually,” he replied, looking at the small jar of Jif, “I found exactly what I was looking for.”
Tanya was in the middle of breaking the spaghetti in half when she caught Kyle’s look. It was part curiosity and part deviant. “What are you thinking?”
Kyle walked over to his new girlfriend and stood beside her. He held up the peanut butter jar and winked. “How sexually adventurous are you?”
To be continued…
[Via http://veraroberts.wordpress.com]
Barry Pittard’s Queer Obsession With Allegations Of A Sexual Nature
Barry Pittard (a caustic critic and defamer of Sathya Sai Baba and others) constantly immerses himself in allegations of sexual abuse (almost on a daily and/or weekly basis as evidenced on his Anti-Baba blog) like a sexual deviant who has nothing better to do with his time.
Barry Pittard is so thoroughly obsessed with allegations of sexual molestation, he intensely meditates and visualizes those acts with such intensity, he actually praised and eulogized Robert Priddy’s sexual molestation libels against Gerald Joe Moreno. If Barry Pittard has the audacity to endorse fabricated sexual abuse allegations against Gerald Joe Moreno, what other fraudulent sexual molestation accusations are he endorsing as well?
Barry Pittard never (ever) witnessed a single incident of alleged abuse by Sathya Sai Baba. Nor was Barry Pittard ever sexually abused by Sathya Sai Baba. Therefore, why does Barry Pittard appoint himself as a proxy defender of alleged victims? Are alleged victims incompetent? Are alleged victim’s mothers and fathers incompetent as well? Not even one alleged victim and not even one alleged victim’s mother or father has even tried to file a basic police complaint or court case against Sathya Sai Baba in India. Why then is Barry Pittard making such a fuss if not to delude, deceive and mislead? Barry Pittard’s prurient, queer and fetish-like obsession with allegations of sexual abuse should raise a red flag about his character.
Needless to say, Barry Pittard has a long and established history of distortions, lies, defamations and libels.
Of course, none of these things are surprising considering that Barry Pittard is allied with Bisexual & Psychic Trance Medium Conny Larsson and Child Porn Purveyor RFJ Sandt, Pathological Liar Robert Priddy and Perverted Fetishist Sanjay Dadlani. Barry Pittard is also a staunch promoter of New Age Advocate & Reincarnator Alan Kazlev and Guru & UFO Promoter Timothy Conway (who actually believes that Sathya Sai Baba may have molested alleged victims like aliens are alleged to do through abductions!).
The only people guilty of running “massive disinformation and cover-up campaigns” are Barry Pittard and Ex-Devotees who have attacked hundreds of Sai Devotees & Non-Devotees alike and who have created hundreds of webpages to defame, libel and smear Gerald Joe Moreno. What more can one do but laugh at loud at Barry Pittard and his hypocritical finger-pointing?
[Via http://geraldjoemoreno.wordpress.com]
This resonated with me. Aside from the vulnerability of her face, and the fact that she resembles me, or how I think I look when I am in a moment of torturous delight, there is the statement.
MAKE IT HURT, PLEASE.
The connection between pain and pleasure is indubitable – to me anyway. I don’t like pain. I’m allergic to it. I’ve been hit. Beaten. It’s not nice. And I am affected and afflicted by it.
I also wonder if I am a masochist. The tightrope between liking pain that others would think it crazy to like, and hating it… is slippery, and blurry, and it burns. It’s unbalancing. The picture wouldn’t be so affective if the script didn’t accompany it. “Please.” After all, our bodies plead for the things it needs, whether we know we want them or not.
***
We remember the extremes dealt to us. We remember the people who affected us. And we remember the pain they deal, like an experienced Vegas corsican who knows he will hurt you a certain amount, before yielding, just slightly to reel you in with a few pleasurable moments that resemble winning.
So we remember the heights of pleasure, and the heights of pain… they shake us to the core. We carry scars to remind us. We carry memories, which, by design, are meant to fade into distant cloudlike masses. Over time, they become unattainable, like when you reach your hand out of your car through the densest of fog. You should be able to touch and feel something that you can’t see through, but you can’t. Your hand flows right through it.
Then, there are memories that remain so sharply focused, that they cannot be called memories because they do not follow the original intended design. “I remember it as if it were yesterday.” There are times when the touch, smell, some tactile distortion are so vivid that we cannot help but think they just happened.
***
BDSM.
Acronyms. I kinda hate them. They diminish words. Take away their significance. They make fun of them, and leave them just a trace, a shadow of their glorious past selves. Acronyms make you have to remember what they stand for, and they make it easy for you to overlook the substance behind the substitutions. Letters for words. When the words are already made of letters. What kind of fucked up shit is that?
B – bondage
D- discipline
or D – domination/submission
S- sadism
M- masochism
I take issue with the way this acronym bunches together concepts that really do not relate. Not really. Each idea can survive without the other, and though often compliment eachother, they may not suppliment the other.
I’ve been a little stressed lately. The mental and physical effects are taking their toll.
Enough.
Let’s cleanse our brains with a picture.
[Via http://eva2ava.wordpress.com]
Just spoke to my dad for the first time in about 1 and a half month, felt good to hear his voice again; tho I wish the first thing he’d said to me would have been something else than “ Oh youre still alive?“
I was beginning to wonder if he himself was dead, lying in a pile of vomit and his own shit for the past few weeks, rotting away infront of a pornofilm with his dick out…Glad he wasnt, I wouldnt wanna be tourmented with that image ofr the rest of my life.
Anyways Im going up to dinner at his place this evening to catch up so I’m happy.
I recently got a call from a casting agency, asking if id be intrested in auditioning for a role in a either one or a series of filmshorts for RFSL ( national association for homo, bi and transexuals rights).
I figured that be right up my street, everybody knows what a good gay7trannie actor I am, so this is gonna be interesting
Speaking of weird attractions ( not that there is anything wrong with being gay) but whats the deal with all people going crazy about the Na’Vi race from Avatar?
I mean, I dont understand why everybody thinks theyre so beautiful and cool; they are bloody blueskinned, cat-monkey people!
It is like a new furry fetish or something… However, there is this one girl who I admit looks extremely hot as a Na’vi!
HOT!
[Via http://greatlittlefortune.wordpress.com]
The proposed revisions for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual edition 5 (DSM-5) — which governs mental health diagnoses — have been released. The DSM-5 includes diagnoses relevant to the trans community and potentially relevant to other sex and gender minorities as well.
Where The Wild Things Are
First, dispensing with non-trans categorizations. The “Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders” categorization is divided into three sub-groups: Sexual Dysfunctions, Paraphilias, and Gender Identity Disorders. Earlier indications from a presentation by Dr. Ray Blanchard (who oversees the Paraphilias work group) and another by the Sexual Dysfunctions work group were that there was consideration being given to dropping “distress” as a requirement for diagnosis. A number of people raised this concern with me, as it would result in a number of communities being faced with the potential for enforced diagnosis and aversion therapy in people whose identities are experienced without distress, without adverse effects on others, and practiced responsibly and consensually — such as asexuality, consensual BDSM and more. The first thing I’ve noticed is that distress does indeed remain as an important requirement. It’s still not clearly defined, but it’s still a requirement.
“We are proposing that the DSM-V make a distinction between paraphilias and paraphilic disorders. A paraphilia by itself would not automatically justify or require psychiatric intervention. A paraphilic disorder is a paraphilia that causes distress or impairment to the individual or harm to others. One would ascertain a paraphilia (according to the nature of the urges, fantasies, or behaviors) but diagnose a paraphilic disorder (on the basis of distress and impairment). In this conception, havinga paraphilia would be a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder.”
However, in the rationale, the Paraphilias subgroup clarifies that without distress, their categories are still considered paraphilias — but with distress, they become paraphilic disorders. They feel the distinction is important, because to them, only the latter needs psychiatric treatment… but the former still need to remain categorized, even though they’re referring to them as normative behaviour. Clear as mud? I’ll bet people will be recognizing this distinction when talking about whether or not all crossdressers and / or consensual BDSMers are mentally ill.
The second major change to this sub-group is that distress is widened to reflect the distress of others, but the lack of definition of “distress” becomes a bigger concern here. Certainly, if someone goes flashing their undies at people or engaging in non-consensual actions that affect participants or onlookers, this should be addressed, and would be a reasonable cause to recommend treatment. But for everything outside pedophilia, without a qualifier based on the explicit or understood mature / informed consent of those involved, it makes the usage far too wide. A crossdresser’s very existence causes distress for many people in society who may never actually encounter them.
And is it just me, or is placing the role of defining the whole of normative sexual behaviour in our society in the hands of a workgroup that only references three sources (all written by the work group head) a problem?
What’s In A Name?
Regarding the trans-related concerns, yes, the current classifications remain in the DSM list of classifications, with some changes.
“Gender Identity Disorder” is being rebranded as “Gender Incongruence.” It was clear from the controversies surrounding continued inclusion of trans identities in a catalogue of mental health issues that disordered terminology was not welcome. This will not satisfy those calling for GID’s outright removal, and will not disarm anti-trans sentiment that uses the existence of a classification as evidence that trans identities are “disordered” but I suppose it does address some peoples’ comfort level with the terminology. Name aside, a few other things have changed.
There is less emphasis on gender behaviour, although the adult classification rebrands this as “desire to be” categories (whereas the childhood classification focuses on an insistence that one *is,* in a tightening of the qualifiers, in order to address the controversy of trans youth by making diagnosis more restrictive). Semantically speaking, that still makes transsexual identity seem illusory or a misguided wish. I know for myself, it was less of a “desire to be” and more of a sense of being which my body had somewhere along the way failed to notice. It also continues to restrict the discussion to two strict genders, which remains problematic for those who experience a sense of being dual-gendered in some way or whose model of self doesn’t include full GRS.
What’s distinctly different this time around is that you are now considered fully cured after surgery. This was largely the assumed case previously, but never stated in the DSM-IV, leaving the door open for law, record and policy to declare / enforce the label long after it became irrelevant. It also removes the “perceived cultural advantages” terminology, which was often used to undermine transmale identities.
Intersex was previously listed as a disqualifier, although that criterion hasn’t really been used in quite some time. Now, they divide the categories between where there is and isn’t a known “Disorder of Sex Development” (why eliminate disordered terminology on one hand and entrench it on the other?), the implication being that if you’re intersex and experience some gender incongruence, you’re now considered mentally ill (it at least does not encompass all intersex people). The probably-unintended inference is that if you’re surgically assigned to a gender that doesn’t fit you, then it’s you who’s got the problem. Not good, and certainly not helpful.
The inclusion of intersex as a subtypal characteristic also sets the stage so that even if much of transsexuality is eventually demonstrated to have a biological origin and a medical model is developed, psychiatry retains province over the diagnosis and treatment. Personally, I’m not in the remove-GID-from-the-DSM-now crowd, and see value in keeping a therapist part of the equation, but I do look toward some change when there is a medical model developed… and see this as a problem that could jump out of the bushes when that time comes. That may not have been the intention, but it does open the possibility.
There is no acknowledgment of the biological studies to date showing a likelihood of biological origin of transsexuality. Is this reflected in other conditions (i.e. autism)? Will have to look further. While I don’t see biological origin as something to stake our legitimacy on, it does currently help others accept and understand trans identities as something more than a whim or sex fantasy — and it would certainly help address the inaccurate grouping with sexual disorders.
Not changed: being transsexual is still the reason for categorization in the DSM at all. Suggested: the anxiety and accompanying stresses brought about by societal attitudes towards transsexuals ought to be pointed instead. It would go some way to explain why a mental health issue can be alleviated by surgery and would probably do a lot more to address stigma than a name change.
New Transvestitic Fetishism: Now With 50% More Disorder!
As a part of the Paraphilias sub-cat, TF has the distress guideline mentioned above: does not need treatment if no distress, but still catalogued as a paraphilia. The only positive is that gender incongruity is removed as a subtype — however, there is still an attempt to assert linkage.
TF retains the distinction as being the only paraphilia ascribed to only one gender. This carries with it several implications that — I think — single it out as a particularly flawed diagnosis. Dr. Kelley Winters makes the case for the removal of TF from classification.
But the biggest concern is that “Autogynephilia” gets slipped in, and (in the rationale, anyway) reaches beyond Paraphilias to assert a link to Gender Dysphoria / Incongruity, implying a causal distinction.
Other transvestites, whom Blanchard (1989) has called autogynephiles, are most aroused by the thought or image of themselves as women. As a practical matter, the autogynephilic type seems to have a higher risk of developing gender dysphoria. This was confirmed in a secondary data analysis reported by Blanchard (2009c). The results of that analysis clearly suggested that the addition of the proposed specifiers to the diagnosis of Transvestic Disorder could provide clinically meaningful information as well as data useful for research.
Andrea James provides a thorough dissection of Autogynephilia as proposed by Blanchard. More will follow, as it should.
A Place At The Table
I have a confession to make. For some reason, this tends to shock people, and in quite a number of exchanges since my participation in the discussion of DSM classifications began, it has happened time and time again that I can have lengthy, significant conversations with professionals yet the moment I mention this, I never hear from them again, save for perhaps a patronizing lament that “it’s a shame, you could have added so much to this conversation.” The same people who describe what I have to say as “insightful, well-reasoned and valuable” instantly decide I have no valid input the moment this comes out. So I’m coming out of the closet for the sake of transparency, but maintaining that despite this, I — and people like me — still deserve a place at the table.
My education ended after high school. I never had the money to be able to continue into post-secondary studies.
For those of professional backgrounds that are looking at that statement as reason to walk away from everything I have to say, that is a mistake, and here is why:
History has demonstrated the removal of homosexuality from the DSM as an accurate and appropriate move to make. This removal happened because of the realization that beyond the distressed people who struggled with their sexual orientation that psychiatrists saw, there existed a larger population of people living healthy, adjusted, responsible — non-disordered — lives. Those non-clinical and detailed experiences far broadened the scope of sexual orientation study and provided context that was often not available in a clinical setting. Simply, well-adjusted people usually did not seek out or act in such a way that would mandate psychiatric care, so the therapists in question never took them into account. Transsexuality is a little different in that transwomen and transmen are required by the current medical system to submit to a psychiatric process in order to achieve certain landmarks that they feel they need (i.e. hormones, surgery), although this can be circumvented by those with enough money. However, transsexual patients don’t always have enough time in regularly-scheduled visits to fully communicate trans experiences (which can be quite complex)… and if they believe that certain statements are required in order to achieve what they’re hoping for, they might not always be completely truthful. Additionally, beyond transsexual identities, other trans identities are much like gay and lesbian populations, where only the distressed and socially-troublesome people are commonly seen.
I’m not saying that community advocates like myself can provide a full-scope understanding of every identity. I’m also not saying that it needs to be me specifically. There are many experienced, well-spoken advocates within the trans community who can engage the discussion, some more than I. However, it is absolutely crucial that people with insight into trans identities have a place at the table. And the greater the sampling, the less chance that someone will misrepresent parts of what is clearly a vast community when speaking to identities not present in the discussion. Advocates of HBS, “classic transsexualism” and the like can speak to their experiences better than I can. Genderqueer people can represent their identities better than I can. Crossdressers can give a better assessment of their lives than I. And I can speak to my own experiences in the middle far better than they. And in the absence of people to speak to other trans identities, advocates with a positive / constructive approach can acknowledge them to the extent that they have learned about them (which can still be more than what is typically available to clinical therapists), deferring when those people can be found or step forward to speak for themselves.
And from the community perspective, we have a responsibility to respond to the proposals in an informed, balanced and diplomatic way that is cognizant of scientific method and the situation in which these work groups find themselves. Psychiatry works best when there is an intuitive understanding of the individual, but science does not like intuition, and stresses repeatability (while no two individuals are exactly the same). Classification can never be perfect, so we must respect the difficulty of the job.
Making demands or attacking personalities does nothing to help us at this stage, but well-researched arguments do. I say this because the release of the proposals is accompanied by an opportunity to provide feedback, and because I know that when we feel our identities are at stake, that feedback can get very emotional. Trans identities are not by their nature disordered – let’s make sure that our response is careful and reasoned enough to reflect that.
(Also offered to Pam’s House Blend)
[Via http://dentedbluemercedes.wordpress.com]
prispss is my fan girl of the week! You can follow her blog or Twitter stream. She’s a young Brazilian girl who’s into Latin (the language) and Japanese boy bands. I discovered her when she Tweeted about our shared interest in police uniforms.
I am sure there are some good men in uniform in Brazil, too. prispss, if you are reading this, please link or send me some local police fetish images. Thanks!
Also, I love her blog title: “I love you like a fat kids loves cake.”
[Via http://jaredinnakano.wordpress.com]
We Christians have a hard time with pleasure. I say “we” because I still identify myself as a Christian, even though I don’t share the usual Christian suspicions about carnal instincts and such. I just can’t believe that we would be condemned to experience all the pain and suffering and frailty of our poignantly mortal existences without also getting to have the other side, the glory of all that our senses can sense if we allow it to happen. How cruel a God we envision, who created us feeling and then placed such powerful restrictions on what we are allowed to feel.
I thought for years that my fetish was something bad. Even after starting therapy, and getting in contact with fellow fetishists through the Internet, I persisted for years in thinking that the healthy thing to do would be to get rid of my fetish and become a normal person with a normal sexual appetite. I saw my fetish as a blockage cutting me off from having true deep affection for people. In order to form strong lasting connections with people, I would have to dissolve the fetish from my consciousness.
It seemed like it would be a hard thing to accomplish, but I felt equal to the task of eliminating the fetish from my life. It was hard to imagine my life without it, but there were times when the thought of living without it was almost liberating. How amazing, to come up with a new way of relating to people that I had not yet imagined, a clean way without the distortions and strange games that the fetish involves.
But then the flipside of this euphoric imagining of the future without fetish was the guilt and recrimination to still be so weak to need the fetish in the present. I wanted so to peak over the hedge and see the other side, where people were smiling and frolicking, I told myself, when really, I was ready at any moment to dive into the hedge again and get tangled in the roots and the mud, and I would be satisfied living there beyond the reach of the light. I could not resist temptation, and cried for not being strong as I wished.
But then somewhere something happened which changed the equation. I realized that it was a trap to place so much importance on resistance. It was part of the coloring of pleasure, the darkening of desire. Certainly, yes, we must all learn to discern which feelings to trust and which to be wary of. But when nearly all feeling is branded as in need of resisting, I am inclined to mistrust not my feelings, but rather the person who is telling me to mistrust my feelings.
In college, I took courses in musical counterpoint. We were taught how for centuries, certain musical progressions were forbidden, including parallel fifths – two voices moving in tandem at the distance of a fifth. But then, in the 20th century, when many of the rules in music started changing, including many of the old rules just being thrown out the window, there were some composers who quite liberally indulged in parallel fifths. I remember quite clearly one of my music professors demonstrating what these passages filled with parallel fifths sounded like, while he told us that the reason this was forbidden for centuries wasn’t because it was bad; rather, it was because it was the secret gold hidden within music that was so incredible that composers felt indulging in it would be like looking at God’s face was for Old Testament Biblical prophets. And sure enough, this music he played for us sounded amazing.
Like those twentieth-century composers, I want to hold the gold in my hands. I am no monk, or ascetic of any kind. I want to feel. I have gone through the depths, and I claim the heights as my realm as well. I know I am only mortal, but when I have experienced the heights, I have lived through moments when time has ceased to have any meaning, when mortality is merely a punishment imposed on us by those who can never imagine how many layers of immortal existence there are.
I know there are consequences to claiming this rarefied territory for my own. It can be rather a lonely road to walk. When one comes down from the heights, all the menial, mostly meaningless concerns of life are still here waiting for us. Time re-imposes its deadly force upon us. We grow old and fat, and our joints lose their elasticity.
Yes, just as we are catching our breath, getting our bearings, the game will be nearly done. But having been in the wide open breathing in the fresh clear air, feeling life fully, doesn’t ever stop, really. Once you say yes to feeling, sure, that means feeling heartbreak, misfortune, sadness. It also means being connected to all the goodness and strength within life. And more and more, the infinite, nearly inexpressible goodness of existence makes itself known to us.
So I embrace my fetish, even though I still hardly understand it. I know that I will go through my hedge to get to what’s on the other side, and I also know that while I am in my hedge with my fingers tangled in the roots and my feet in the mud, the sunlight from the other side will break in on me a bit, and I will feel its warmth.
Yes, it’s true that if I had never gone through whatever led me to create my fetish, I might have some kind of clear path to experiencing sexuality. But what happened happened, and that is no tragedy. The tragedy would be ignoring or casting aside this great gift created by my psyche. This prism made by the little boy I was that might lead me from the safety of being in my lonely room to the brilliance and riskiness of deigning to touch another.
[Via http://onecigarrevolution.wordpress.com]
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