Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Laying Down the Rules
Alex and I made plans to meet at a local coffee shop to discuss the logistics of our encounters to be to set rules. I remember the walk to the coffee shop like it was yesterday – I kept on rehearsing what I was going to say in my head: safe words; boundaries; location; rules; no sex absolutely no sex.
As I walked I could feel the warm summer wind brush against my pale skin. I had dressed up just for Alex, in a short black skirt that showed off my thighs peeking out behind my fish net stockings and tall black leather boots wrapped tightly around my legs with large silver buckles. I paired this with a cotton T – I did not want it to look to obvious as too why we were meeting. As always I painted my face with eye liner; eye shadow and lipstick. I always enjoyed dressing in this fashion, all the attention that comes with it whether positive or negative – I am a bit of an exhibitionist.
As I approach the coffee shop I see Alex sitting on the patio in blue jeans and a white t-shirt. He seems to be very fit and well-built (a nice bonus I guess) however he is no the most attractive man (at least for my taste – he is good-looking and all I just have a unique taste for men) I start questioning if I should be doing this, what will people think. – It does not stop me.
I entered the cafe and said “Hi Alex” and the conversation began.
Alex – “Do you want anything madame?”
Me – “Tea – mint please”
Alex got up and as any good submissive would do went to get my tea, as I was waiting for him I though to myself I probably should not have said please.
Alex – “Madame here you enjoy anything I can get you?”
Me – “Lets just get down to business and figure this out and get to know each other a bit more with no Madame or Slave just the 2 of us. I want to make sure we fit together. So tell me something about you.”
Alex – “I fix bicycles, I’m really good with carpentry….. blah blah blah blah blah …”
We talked for 15 or so minutes about us reveling mundane tidbits of information. I was thinking to myself he seems like an ok guy but I want to do this on my territory so…
Me – “We need to discuss the logistics of our arrangements, Alex I’m willing to give this a try once we have had a few play sessions lets meet again to make sure we both feel like we fit. Safe word what do you want to use?”
Alex – “Hum want is your usual safe word?”
Me – “I would rather you select a word your comfortable with since you will be using it?”
Alex – “Dandelion”
Me – “Dandelion, interesting OK. Now are there anything that you wont do and is there anything that you especially like?
Alex – “I will do anything my mistress thinks I deserve or need to do. But when I am good maybe you will spank me with your bare hands. Also I really enjoy worshiping my mistresses feet.”
Me – “So nothing, there’s nothing you wont do?” Your fine with whips, restraints, light deprivation, hot and cold torture, water play, paddles, cock and ball torture, and so on.”
Alex – “Anything you feel fit mistress or do you prefer madame.”
Me – “Madame, mistress sounds sexual and no sex is one of my rules. I don’t care what you do once I am done with you for the night; you can go to any whore you would like, but you I am above you and you do not deserve me for the time being.”
Alex – “Yes madame, do you need anything else madame?”
Me – “No, but here are the rest of my rules: no golden showers or feces play; no cutting or piercing; we meet at my house under my conditions when I call upon you and like I said no sex absolutely no sex. I want to meet with you again like this after our second encounter and then every other month to make sure we are still in line. If you are still interested in being my bitch, meet me at this address tomorrow night at 7pm and any fetish attire you may have.”
Alex, as he unfolded the small white piece of paper I handed to him – “Yes madame”
And with that I picked up my purse that was resting on the ground and took off.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
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Sunday, October 25, 2009
Interview with Peter Diablow
Skilled photographer, videographer, performer and friend, Peter Diablow is an important part of Domina Productions and if you’ve seen the photography for our first 5 digital releases, you’ll understand why. I’ve asked Peter some questions, and he’s answered them, so here they are:
Ayden: How did you first get into photographing in the fetish scene?
Peter Diablow: When I started as a digital photographer about 7 years ago, I was in college in America and I mainly shot gothic girls. Through the goth scene in Boston (US) and the Manray club, I was introduced to fetish as they had fetish nights every once in awhile. Whilst in Boston in 2003, I got a chance to shoot Dita von Teese, but it wasn’t until I moved to New York in 2005 that I really started to shoot fetish girls and attend fetish parties. I was a house photographer there at the infamous Pandora’s Box, the biggest dungeon in NYC for about a year. When I returned to Amsterdam in 2007, after 5 years in the US, my reputation had preceded me and I was able to infiltrate the Dutch scene.
What impression did you get of the burlesque/fetish icon, Dita von Teese?
We just hit off. She’s a wonderfull person to work with, very professional and I don’t think she can ever look bad in pictures.
You are a resident at most of the fetish parties in Amsterdam, which do you favor and why?
Every party has it’s charm. Right now, it’s Boudoir Bizarre. They have the best audience in my opinion, as well as top acts which also take part in the annual B.I.T.C.H. festival. I also like the CLINIC party since they put the most effort into making their parties perfect for both the performers and the crowd…a great party to get properly introduced to the fetish crowd.
As a Domina Productions photographer you are helping to educate the electronic scene with the fetish aesthetic…do you think it is a worthwhile effort?
The aesthetic is the most important thing. The fetish scene is usually limited to commerical and hard house for half of its crowd and industrial goth music for the other. I don’t see why someone who likes other types of electronic music can’t enjoy their music at a fetish party. The stereotype sound currently associated with fetish parties results in people becoming submissive to the trend. If they won’t go fetish, we can bring fetish to them.
For other photographers out there that want to be part of the Domina Productions crew, what advice do
you have regarding taking fetish photography?
I think everyone should just let their own vision reign. In the fetish world, being unique really counts… but tits/ass shots work well too as long as it has class and style.
Which photographers do you respect the most and why?
I prefer film and music directors such as Dario Argento, Shinya Tsukamoto and Floria Sigismondi (who is also a photographer). Film lighting is so much more vivid then photography lighting. There are of course some photographers that I admire. Natasha Epperson and Blueblood.net inspired me towards digital photography as well as the early work of Dutch photographer Erwin Olaf which I find to be truely amazing.
You’ve put together the now infamous Blood Squad. Who are its members and what are some of the highlights of your performances so far?
The Bloodsquad was put together by Dutch fetish model Amarantha La Blanche and myself in 2007. Along with my gi
rlfriend Mari Kitten and Manyu, we crashed parties and painted them red with fake blood. We loved being the crazy bloodspitting weirdo’s. We referred to ourselves as being “snood”, which became the squad’s motto “Snood to the Dood”, roughly translated: “Vile ’till the death”. In late 2008, we decided to put our talent to good use. The girls are great dancers and have a sick fetish for blood and gore so we combined the elements of horror and fetish and began doing our own shows. Since then we have performed at the top fetish parties in Holland (along with our special guest member Miss Suzn), as well as collaborative performances with international industrial bands and walkaround acts for commercial companies such as CCP/White Wolf Computer Games. You can check out our website at www.official-bloodsquad.com
What are your near future upcoming events/plans/projects?
I have a lot up my sleave. I’m constantly creating photographs (of horrific & fetish nature), setting up exhibits for 2010 and performing as an actor on stage with the bloodsquad. I also shoot videos for projection at big fetish/kinky parties such as Wasteland and Crazyland. I’d like to do more film work and make some short films, as well as movies for internet TV. I’m currently sponsored by a fetish party in Germany called Odi Et Amo, and I also produce music under my alias Joran van der Snood.
Final note for readers?
Ignorance and arrogance kill more cats than curiosity ever will.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Someone like you...
just in case you did hear… i was voted unanimously as the winner of the first ever NC Fetish Art Festival…
thank you to everyone that came out and to everyone that supports my work online, and to all the models that trust what i shoot instead of being scarred of something different…
and again thanks to camille for always being the best executive producer slash supporter in the world…
Sunday, October 18, 2009
New England and the Tri-State Area -- Next Week!
I’ll be in New England and the Tri-State area this month.
Furlough season has given me a chance to get out of this hole of a town. I fly to Boston Wednesday. I head to Western Mass immediately and hole up until Friday at which point I will begin interviewing people for my thesis. Interested in talking to me about gender neutral language? Send me a message.
I might take a trip to the cape during the weekend – depends. The following Monday I will start wandering around the region looking at schools and making road side piss stops! You know you want one!
My itinerary is still coming together but I will certainly be visiting Albany, Boston, NYC, Stony Brook, Princeton, and New Brunswick NJ. I expect I’ll go into Pennsylvania but I have a feeling this will be a mistake.
That said, I can’t wait to be someplace that is flip flop free. I’m sick to tears of the lousy footwear that is endemic to this region. Contact me to play or to schedule an interview about gender variant language.
Widow Centauri
619.884.2376
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Hair colour renewed
As usual the boy was not aware what was going to happen. He was a little apprehensive about it all. Even though I had mentioned that I was not going to do anything wild, he knows full well that I can. He also knows that if the mood strikes, I can and will do outrageous things to his hair. Worse he knows that the hairdresser, alas often reluctantly, will comply.
The boy was blond, and had been blond for a while now. I got a little bored with it and because the last time I took him into the realm of white perm rods I decided that I could not go fire engine red, this time at least.
As we arrived I headed into the salon with my preparation papers. I have always loved Dusty Springfield and her wonderful voice. But apart form a great voice she also has had some interesting hairdo’s over the years. Some of the later styles are not what I am after for the boy, but she is a real style icon for a hair fetishist, or at least she should be IMO. So I showed this picture to the hair dresser. We discussed what parts were possible and what parts were not. She explained that the hair in the picture was longer than the boy’s and that with the tight curls he has she would do her best but that the totally smooth look up top would not be a guarantee. I told her to have fun. Also with the back of the hair.
That is when the boy entered.He’d let me out in front of the hair dresser whilst he put the car away. Quickly the stylist and I put the paperwork away and the boy was put in the chair. I got the hair colour book, nobody even considers giving it to the boy anymore. They are all too aware that this is not his decision to make. As the stylist and I had discussed briefly what I wanted she pointed out her translation of my idea. I liked it and agreed. And thus the hairdye was prepared.
Not long after that another customer entered. We have seen her more often and she knows about some of the peculiarities that are ours. She was most interested to know what the boy would have happen to his hair. The stylist showed her whilst the boy was under the hood. The customer was also told not to show it too much as it had to be a surprise for the boy. Then this conversation started on how I decide his hair. The stylist was clear. “I am not sure who enjoys going to the hairdresser more, you or him”. I could do nothing else but to concede that it was something we both totally enjoyed and yes that I controlled it was great fun. This all happened in a nice friendly manner as if this sort of thing happens on a daily basis and it is normal to occur. Slightly weird but also so relaxed. It was fun.
The boy in the mean time changed colour from blond to a nice warm autumn reddish blond. It is definitely a change of colour without being shocking. The colour suits him. His eyes come out even more blue than usual. The ultimate hairdo was toward Dusty and I have to admit I loved it. So friendly, so feminine and so utterly pretty. Too bad we did not have time to hit the town and show everybody. But I hope it is a hairdo I can repeat myself, it was that well chosen.
Looking forward to practicing it.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The Phantom ''Fucker''
Warning:
Do not read this if you’re related to me or if you ever want to do the funky monkey with me.
Do not read this if you’re underaged.
Do not read this if you’re all touchy, feely and sensitive and shit.
Do not read this if you’re my mother or sister.
Now, if you’re neither of the above, and you are ready to read something steamy, raunchy and very freaky, please continue. It is a bit of a novel this one, but I assure you, the story is worth it.
So, as I said in the entry about Tucker Max, I would never dare write explicitly about my sexlife. Which is why this obviously isn’t about me. Ooooh no. It’s something I heard from my friend. Let’s call her Holly.
So I went out with my housemates. Before I went out, I said to Lydia: ”I’m not gonna bring any lad back today… but you know.. just in case. Remind me to shave, eh?”. Not that I was really hairy, just I didn’t plan on sex, and it had been a few days. You know. Just a bit of stubble.
Went out, had a good time. Flipped off any guy who got near. Eww they’re all so not worthy of me and my awesomeness. So then Bumper closes, and we go outside. Start talking to this guy who Lydia knew, some guy named Sam from Mexico. He’s not the point, cause Lydia quickly moved on and started talking to this other guy, I just follow her. She’s talking to this guy, and he had a friend. I just stood there like a wallflower, but then a gust of wind came, and I smelt the remarkably matcho scent of Jean Paul Gaultier, the green bottle. Dunno what it’s called. So I just lean towards this guy, Richard his name was, and take a whiff. Aaah I do love that perfume. Which is a bit odd, my brother used to wear it. So I just started talking to him (and smelling him over and over, yes I was quite drunk), just very friendly, very platonically.
Now let me describe this guy to you. He had a gorgeous southern Liverpool accent. Not scouse at all, just absolutely lovely. Actually, he had the exact same accent as one lecturer at Hope. And it is just lovely. He had green-brownish eyes, and chocolatey brown hair. He was just .. very handsome. So obviously I kept the tone friendly, and left it at that. I don’t think I could ever get a guy like that with me anyway. Handsome, slim, fit, sexy.. You know. The works.
So me and Lydia left them, and went to a cash point. Then after about five minutes he comes running after us. Totally unexpected. Lydia shares her booty-call issues with him to get a man’s opinion, where he tells me to shut up, cause I’m drunk and interrupting. When I wont shut up, he shoves me conveniently against a nearby wall and holds my mouth. After he deals with Lydia’s problem he said to me ”You know, I shouldn’t be here. I’m just gonna go and take a piss, I have a girlfriend.” I was like ”Well, you just go and tak a piss then. See you.”
Again he follows us. He finds a little alleyway where he takes a leak, at which point I wait for him and Lydia goes ahead. I’m drunk and I lean around the corner to get a look at him, and he totally caught me in the act. Walking down the dark backalley after that, he goes on to say ”hey, your eyes are green!” I said ”Yes, they are”. Then goes on saying how he really shouldn’t be here, and then he kisses me. Oh god I do love that perfume.
We go out onto the main street, and Lydia is nowhere to be seen. I shout her name and walk up the street, he just follows. Then I’m like ‘’shit, I’ve lost her…” He puts his arms around my waste and it seems as if he would want nothng more than push me up against the wall of the philharmonic hall. Then I say ”where do you live?” He’s like ”Ooh noo–” ”No, I’m not gonna take you home and rape you Richard, i wanna know so maybe we can share a taxi?” He agrees and we live quite close. He kept staring at me, and getting closer to me in the taxi, and repeated that he shouldn’t be there. Then he said we’d go out at the same stop, he apperantly lived a couple of streets down. Then he insists on walking me to the door. As we were walking down the street, he just grabs me and lifts me up so my legs wrap around his waist. I was like ”nooo!”. I hate it when people lift me up. They’ll only end up hurting themselves, I’m far to heavy.
We get to the door, he just stands there, and I say ”what? you want a drink or something?” He wanted a cuppa tea. Sure, I’m not gonna deny a man a cuppa tea! So I set out to make us some tea. We have a board in the kitchen we use for writing messages for eachother on. He notices the Tinkerbell on it that I’ve drawn, and he notices some dog. And I’m like ”yeah, my lat one-night-stand did that one”. He gets a bit of a weird expression, and I say ”What? You don’t like that, Mr. Boyfriend?” I went to the bathroom. At this point I considered doing a quick trim, but i seriously didn’t think anything was going to happen. After all I’d taken on a cool and dismissive part, and he kept saying he shouldn’t be there and that he has a girlfriend.
We go in the livingroom, where he discusses in German with Lydia, and have a talk about German politics over a cup of tea. When Lydia leaves he comes and sits next to me. And just stares at me. And kisses me. All I was thinking is ’shit I should have shaved!’. He pulled down my top and started groping and kissing all over. Then he pulled down my leggings. I was wearing hold-in leggings and a top. Now girls, we all know what hold-in does to you. Makes you seem slimmer when you’re standing up, but if someone undresses you, they’ll know the gig is up. I wasn’t very comfortable. I have abit of extra weight, and I’m not really omfortably with sitting at all. So I kept protesting, and he started to finger me, despite my ”no, no, no, no”es. All I could think was oh dear god, I’m being finger-raped! He said ”They’re not gonna come in here, are they?” I was terrified. What if my housemates walked in?? I kept saying ”not in the livingroom, not in the livingroom, not in the livingroom”… He pulled everything I wore down to my knees after a while, and told me to stand up and turn around. This guy was freaky. I just said ”No. I’m gonna get dressed and go to my room. You can either come with me, or walk out.”
He followed me up to my room. He threw me down on the bed and started just pulling off all my clothes. I felt flabby and stubbly. I groped him as well, and he denied me. I think he felt he couldn’t do that because he has a girlfriend. Like what the fuck?? Where does that even make sense??? It seemed like he had quite a package. He kept groping and fingering me, and he was quite good. But he kept trying to put his finger in my ass as well! I was like ”NOOO!”. Right then all I wanted was sex really. He was on his knees in front of the bed, and I was lying down naked, feeling rather unattractive. He said ”I can give you what you want.” I was like ”You don’t know what I want…” When he realised he wanted to go down on me, I said ”Stop, stop, stop! Listen.. I really don’t like recieving oral sex. It’s the thing about me.. I only like giving. So if you’re gonna give me what I want…then I need your dick in my mouth.” Can’t believe I actually said that. But he wasn’t having it, his dick was apperantly a no-go. Maybe it belonged to his girlfriend? He whipped it out either way, but was only wanking, while fingering me. I kept saying ”come here, come here, come here”… But no. I’m really not comfortable with anyone touching me. But he did know his shit.
You think this is weird? Read on.
As he wa getting closer, he said something like bukkake. And I remember thinking shit, is he gonna unload that thing in my face? It was a gorgeous dick though. Like perfect. I tried sucking him off, but even though I did it a bit, he pulled away. I didn’t even know men were capable of that!!! Then he just spermed on my pillow, in my face, in my mouth, in my hair, even on my arm. It was messy, I tell you. Here I was, just all too eager to swallow, and he wanted to create such a mess? I don’t get men. Then he said he had to go. And I was like ”yeah fine”. Then he shook my hand, and said ”nice knowing you”. I just said ”yeah, you too.”
He walked downstairs, and I was sat there in the midst of all the sperm thinking what the fuck??
I could hear him struggling with the door, our door is a bit weird. So after I’d gotte over the shock, I got dressed and went downstairs. The door was locked. The key was on the floor. How did he get out? I checked the windows, they wre all locked from the inside. I checked the backdoor, locked from the inside. I checked all the rooms, and nothing! Where the fuck had he gone? This is about when I had a nervous break-down. All I wanted to do was go home by myself, eat some noodles, go to bed and have a good nights sleep. And now I was deeply disturbed.
He had some weird fetishes. Sex in a semi-public room. Anal. Bukkake. All the secrecy. Was his name even Richard? Did he even have a girlfriend? Or is one of his fetishes also role-playing?
My dear friend Holly shal never know. He’ll always be the phantom ”fucker” who did anything but.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Abstract: Shoes at The End of the Road Festival
Still mining my k of shots from The End of the Road Festival but I have no idea whose these belong to. Could it be Loney Dear? Motel Motel? Vetiver? I really need to go back and work out the sequence of shot to place it.
This falls under my funny little fetish for shooting the ‘ephemera’ of stage performance, especially all the detritus that litters the floor around a performer – water bottles, can of Red Stripe, wires, guitar pedals, setlists. In Josh Weller’s case, I seem to recall taking photographs of assorted fruit.
I love how an isolated body shot can show a whole new aspect of performance; reveal an element of performer identity.
I guess I’m also remembering that as I grew up, I became acutely aware of how shoes really do maketh the man. Watching kids older than me, learning the music they were into and noting the careful attention to footwear: Adam Cocoran, the Morrissey fan in the year above at college who wore a beautiful pair of leather winkle pickers; the guy who worked in the second hand vinyl place at the top of the hight street with his dirty converse sneakers peeking out from under stonewashed denim jeans. Footwear always at two extremes – the most simple, cheapest, shittiest low grade trainers or hand crafted, leather-soled and buffed up to a shine.
That’s why shoes are so important. They make a statement that says, “I am too cool to give a shit” or “I am so cool and I give a shit”. The space between is what disappoints: where there has been a half-hearted effort and the result is some shiny Nikes or something. That why I don’t take pictures of the feet of rappers. I like the dirt.